Dating at any age can be fun, daunting or a little bit of both depending on how you look at it. Men are notoriously known to mature a bit later than women. Women are told a myriad of things about how to look, behave and act. You can throw all of that out of the window and just be yourself, but sometimes it’s helpful to know what traits your potential partner likes so you can feel comfortable showing those parts of yourself off. While some men mature faster, men over 40, in particular, have certain ways that they are often more mature and ready to handle someone serious for lifelong love.
Check out dating expert James Swanwick’s interview with John Gray, the bestselling author of “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.”
You’ll really learn a lot from the discussion!
James describes his mission as simple but it actually sounds pretty complex: “to show us ‘the system to attract a powerful millionaire, CEO, world-changer, celebrity — that one-in-a-million, needle-in-the-haystack man you’ve been dreaming of'”.
Overreaching? Maybe. But the dating expert begs to differ. He believes it’s possible to attract these types of men so long as you know what you’re doing. No, you don’t have to really aim for a celebrity (although who’s stopping you?) but you can think outside of the box and go for the gold instead of settling. To better understand what both James and John mean, let’s walk through the author’s tips for attracting the right man.
1. Surround yourself with the right people.
Basically, get out of your comfort zone, too. It’ll be hard to find a “top 10 man” if you’re fixated on one spot or reluctant to branch out! Different locations help. These could bridge you to men who share the same interests, outlooks, and principles. Be part of clubs or groups that engage in fun, wholesome activities and who knows? You could meet your ideal date there!
2. Don’t be easy to get.
Don’t buckle at the first pick-up line or lose it over a romantic gesture. Men can easily tell and that often drives them away. Make yourself worth woo-ing. No, you won’t be playing games but you won’t be falling at his feet either, pulling desperate moves just to keep him around. Go with the flow without losing your grip on you who are, what you want, and what you deserve.
3. Recognize trade-offs.
Speaking of knowing what you want and deserve, remember it always takes two. Both parties should be putting in effort to make things work. Be clear about your stand on things without making unreasonable demands or refusing to compromise. Fairness and equality work wonders for relationships.
4. Don’t look for happiness.
You won’t find happiness by searching for the right partner. You have to be genuinely happy even before the ideal man comes along and sweeps you off your feet. That means you’ve always been whole, secure, and content, and that a suitable partner is just the cherry on top. When you put your happiness in someone else’s hands, chances are you’ll struggle to keep it. When a woman is truly happy, she is radiant, charming, and attractive – factors that contribute to having “chemistry” with someone. Be happy with who you are and what you have first and you’ll be on your way to the perfect guy for you.
5. Appreciate what he gives to you.
Don’t create a checklist for him to complete or exert effort into changing him just so he can fit the mold you’ve pictured in your head. Be receptive and appreciative minus the demands and the unrealistic expectations.
There’s really so much you can learn from this video!
Press play for some sound advice on dating and finding the right partner.
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